Archive for the 'randomness' Category

18
Jul
14

Is my art fake?

Is my art fake?

No, it is not fake. I actually put acrylic paint on to a canvas. I have stated from day one that I cannot draw well. Some of my pieces are drawn by me, I use a grid method to copy the picture I want to paint onto a canvas. Some are not. Some I have printed in grey scale directly onto canvas. And then paint from there..using glazes and washes and color, in layers to bring out a full color rendition of an image. Sometimes I do images originally done by the Masters.. by people like Van Gogh, by people like Linda Coulter, by people I see on my friends’ list on Facebook! I do images of pretty places. I did not want to be stuck or hindered by my inability to draw. My paintings come out better if there is an image to paint on first (sketch or otherwise), of course.

It began in the 20th century that artists started focusing on direct (alla prima) painting, also known as au premier coup (at first stroke). It is a wet-on-wet style of painting. With that favor though, one art form has become almost lost, it seemed to me and that is the grisaille method.

You can read more about it at these links:

Grisaille info link

How to Paint Grisaille

What is Grisaille and Why do We Care?:

From the last link, I will quote, “In and of itself, grisaille can be used as a stepping stone toward a finished oil painting after adding glazes, so I know that any work I produce in this way can have a life “in living color” if and when I decide I’m ready to go there. So in a way, grisaille painting is a gateway painting method. It has been around for centuries, was an essential exercise for the Old Masters, and still has much to teach us today.”

I use acrylics rather than oil as I like to finish really quickly. Within a day if I can. And since acrylics are fast drying paints, that works well for me. Acrylics are also more forgiving when making a mistake. Once dried, you can color over a mistake and it not be noticed.

I am a self taught artist who is still learning to paint. Someone recently complained to a friend of mine that I was “fake” and trying to sell my art for a lot of money. So, let me get that straight here and now.

A direct quote from that person was: “Another advocate friend told me she has definitely changed. That her artwork is not even her own, that she is tracing copies off well known artists like Van Gogh. Not just saying this to be mean, but truth…..but on the other hand, do any of you fel she is trsutworthy now?” (copied and pasted, any errors are that person’s).

Tracing? I do not own tracing paper. Come to my house and you will not find any. I was going to buy some once as I thought it would be easier than doing it grid-style but I never did. Because then I’d have to get images the same size as my canvas in order to trace over. Here is a photo that I have shared to my art page on Facebook (Art by Heather E. Johnson).

As you can see, there is the original image next to my painting that I used for inspiration, etc. Yes, it is “copying”. However, you will find that many students of the arts “copy” as they master techniques, long before they start doing originals. Or, at least, they used to.

Here’s an article that discusses that controversy.

Here is an article that supports my position.

By the time I am done, I consider my rendition to be mine and mine alone. For example, I posted a pic of the rendition of Van Gogh’s Cafe at Night.

This is the original by Van Gogh himself, in 1888, done in oil.

This is the original by Van Gogh himself, in 1888, done in oil.

“Café Terrace at Night, also known as The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum, is a coloured oil painting executed by the Dutch artist Vincent van Gogh on an industrially primed canvas of size 25 in Arles, France, mid-September 1888.”

Here is my version:

This is the painting I created when I did the grisaille method using a black and white image printed onto a canvas.

This is the painting I created when I did the grisaille method using a black and white image printed onto a canvas.

Here is a screen cap of a photo album on facebook where I show my progress as I go. I have said it many times and in many places!

The progress I made while painting

The progress I made while painting

Here is the about section from my art page:

I mention, with a brief description, what art style I am using. Anyone who knows art will likely be familiar with the style. If not, they can always google it.

I mention, with a brief description, what art style I am using. Anyone who knows art will likely be familiar with the style. If not, they can always Google it.

As you can see, I even have an extra person in mine! I also have more stars, etc. There are lots of differences. So, of a sorts, it does become an original. There are some pieces labeled, “not for sale” on my art page. That’s because I am no longer in possession of them. I often give them away, for free. Some insist on paying for them and so I might get a token payment of about $30/each. That covers the cost of the canvas, paints and postage. Nothing for my time. To date, I have not received a single penny from them.

So the claim that I am “ripping people off with copies” is false. I am not. I am full and upfront about my style of painting and anyone can Google the title of that Van Gogh picture and see many others who have posted their renditions, some are even for sale. There’s even museums just for showing copies.

[Update: Recently, I came up with a multi-step process for getting the image onto canvas prior to painting it with color. It takes me a minimum of 24-28 hours to do it but I don’t have to pay someone to print an image on to canvas. ]

That is all. Thank you.

And these are my words….

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03
Feb
11

What’s been happening….

Well, life has been extremely busy these past few weeks. I’ve been overwhelmed at times and feeling strong at others. I was put on new pain management medication that has made functioning quite awkward. I would get loopy or very tired and have no choice but to sleep. I would literally fall asleep at my computer! So, while it’s good I’m actually getting sleep, I can’t function like that (sleeping day and night) so I stopped taking one of them and it’s better. I still get tired but it’s not as bad as it was and the memory/concentration issue seems to be less as well. I am very sensitive to medication’s side effects and this is as usual. It makes it challenging trying to find a management system that works and yet allows me to function.

We have recently acquired roommates! They are a childless couple (unless you count their two dogs!). They help us with the children, housecleaning, cooking, etc. I guess the position is called “estate managers.” Live-in help had become a necessity for us as M-F didn’t work anymore– we still needed the help on Saturday and Sundays. We dont’ become magically non-disabled only on the weekends. LOL So, enough with the struggles!

They’re good people and fit us well because they have great sense of humors and are animal lovers, almost like us. They don’t hold  on to a bunch of animals like we do–but they care greatly about them.

Two puppies (Jack Russel’s) have decided to live under our house (they tore off the skirting). They were dumped off shortly before this winter storm early this week. I’ve called animal control and have gotten the usual run around. We don’t live within the city limits, so we have to call the County’s Sheriff’s office. They say they don’t have an animal control department and I need to call the city’s police’s animal control officer. I call the officer and he tells me to call the County Sheriff’s office and round and round that goes! If I pay $10 a dog, they’ll take them in when they have room (they never do). Sooo… not sure what to do. I don’t want to feed them because I want them to move on from us.. but I can’t watch them starve either. That’s cruel. So, do I feed them or don’t I feed them? They’re not going anywhere….

I’m going to be an editor for an online newsletter for the group Carers About the Disabled.  We’ll have articles and resource links there and it’s going to be on a WordPress blog as it’s the easiest way to get it to the people and the group does not earn any money to pay for its website, so can’t use that. So, all in all, it’s a great way to get information to the people and I’m excited about being involved!

T has had increased behavioral problems lately. I think it’s related to his going through puberty since age 8 and now he’s in that swing mode that normally wouldn’t be that big a deal but because he has a mood disorder in addition to Asperger’s,  it’s even worse than normal teenage thing.  It goes from annoying (such as mimicking everything I say and not because he’s an echo type persona, but snide) to throwing things in anger and swearing and cussing people out. It sucks. For him and for us. For him, he’s embarrassed after the moment has passed and he has told me he is disappointed in himself. He knows better but can’t seem to help himself either. It’s like he’s lost all of his coping skills suddenly. It’s really weird.

Facebook has been a strange trip down memory lane lately as well. I’ve found so many “old” friends. They’re not old as in age, but that I’ve known them from a long time ago. And seeing their faces on their profiles makes me think of those times. Some were good. Some not so good! LOL But it’s been great reminiscing about it all. What I found weird though is that after a few sentences, 20 years have been summed up LOL

That’s about it!

13
Sep
10

Proving a point.

Now, I know that I don’t have anything to prove to anyone at this point in time. But there are *still* people insisting on stating that I got “fired” and/or “relieved” from Examiner.com.

So, as proof, I invite you to view the website in question. You will note the date the article was published is the same day as this blog post. Proof positive that I am still allowed to publish articles at Examiner.com.

Thank you.

Feel free to leave me an apology here.

You shouldn’t lie about me if you can’t back up your words.

04
Sep
10

Proof That I Have Brains

Okay, so it’s not proof that I USE said brains.

**grin**

Anyway, I had to have an MRI done of my brain because I’ve developed this pesky habit of having seizures. Grand Mal type with whole body shaking. I’ve had about four or five in the past two months. I do not know that they occur when they occur. I do not feel a thing.

According to my husband and oldest son who has witnesses these seizures, I spent anywhere from 30 seconds to four minutes shaking in whole body convulsions followed by a period of fogginess where I’m responding to them but they can tell I’m not “with it.” I do not recall those foggy periods, either.

On or about September 2, 2010, I had one that lasted four minutes. I was playing CafeWorld on Facebook. I play this game at night after my youngest has gone to bed or the kids are in school to escape. When you have a stressful life, an hour a day playing a goofy game can help melt the effects of said stress. Similar to how a bath works. If you have autism and stress, it becomes very important to have these daily breaks from reality.

As I was saying… I was playing Café World and I was also on the phone with the step-mother of my nieces. This step-mother has also known me for over 20 years. She calls me cause she likes talking on the phone and doesn’t like waiting for my email and/or inbox messages to get back to her. I don’t mind too much talking to her on the phone; although, in general I do not like phone calls. They do tend to make me tired.

The last thing I recall was laughing at something she had said, in response to my oldest telling me (because he wanted to stay up and not go to bed) “I made you a pot of coffee, but I’m not getting you a cup!” I did not ask him to either, which is what made it funny. The next thing I know, I’m waking up, sitting up on the floor of my dining room, my son standing next to me and my husband sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me.

They both looked terrified. Apparently, after the shaking had ended, I had sat up to breathe better. They had called 911, as told to by my family physician, to go to the ER to get checked out. Actually, my 12 year old autistic son called 911 so that my husband could make sure I was safe (not bang my head or swallow/bite my tongue) during the seizure.

I cannot begin to describe just how proud of my son I am. If you mention to him how brave he is, he shrugs it off as “not that scary.” I could tell you, he was scared. I saw it in his eyes as I came to. I was told he calmly told the operator on the phone what was going on, answering all her questions the best he could.

When the EMTs got there, I was fully aware again. My husband was a bit gruff with them. You see, the last time the EMTs were called, they said it was just allergies and take some Mucinex and I’ll be okay. I kid you not. Not all the EMTs around here are so… weird… but a few of them insist that they have X-ray eyes and will talk you out of going to the ER.

One of the EMTs that responded this latest incident clearly was aggravated that she had to take me in as evidenced by eye-rolling and teeth sucking. You know what I mean. She whispered to the triage nurse something that I could not hear, try as I might. Yes, I wanted to know what she was saying about me. When she noticed that I was not-so-covertly eavesdropping, she just shrugged and rolled her eyes again. The nurse responded with, “Well, of course Dr. H would want her to come in to get checked out. You cannot do an EEG or MRI at home.”

So, Dr. H did indeed order an MRI which I did today.  I do have a neurology appointment on the 14th, but he figured this would do until then. If I was to have another seizure (which I did the following day) I was to report it to his office but did not need to come in again unless other symptoms showed or we were concerned, such as the fogginess doesn’t clear.

Last night, just before the seizure, all the dang dogs and cats decided to pile on top of me in my bed. I thought only certain animals did that. Those dogs who get trained to do it. Apparently some do it by instinct. I began yelling at the beagle to get off my head and that’s when my husband and oldest son came into the room. I had been reading in bed.

This time the seizure only lasted about a minute and the fogginess cleared rather quickly. I did not notice a time-lapse. I thought one minute the dogs/cats are on my bed, the next they’re not. My husband informed me that he got them all off my bed except for the rat terrier, named Summer, who refused to stay off the bed. She’s my protector. Even the kittens had swarmed me.

The lingering symptoms were the same as before: headache and extreme muscle fatigue. That’s the only way I know I’ve had one. I feel so wiped out. Well, that makes me wonder if I haven’t had seizures before and just didn’t know it because I don’t remember any of it. I do have headaches in my past along with extreme muscle fatigue where it comes upon me all of a sudden. So, we’ll see what the neurologist says.  I see an EEG in my future.

Today I had the MRI. That was fun! Not. Those tables… man, can’t they get one that does NOT kill your back? Even with the knee pillow in place, my lower back is screaming at me now. I’ll be taking some pain meds soon to get rid of this headache I have and the backache.

I did have a moment where I almost panicked after slipping into the machine for the scan. There’s this thing that goes over your head like a cage. It’s disconcerting. You have cushions on the side of your head. You have earplugs which makes it hard to hear the guy talking through the speakers in the machine and cushions keeping your arms in place, as well. Knowing I couldn’t even scratch my nose was beginning to bother me.

I’m proud of myself for not flipping out. I just disassociated with the event. I’ve always done this when I’m faced with something that produces large amounts of anxiety. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. I used to confuse these times with “sleeping.” I just go to a different world and I do not have the words to describe it to you. I have since wondered if it’s to do with autism and not PTSD.

It went really quickly and afterward I was able to get a CD of the images. I plan on taking them with me to the neurologist visit but also decided to share some of the still images with y’all. It’s really neat to see your own brain. Of course, I have no idea if there is anything “wrong” with it, but it’s still interesting to see. I’ll get the results on Tuesday.

22
Aug
10

Something off my chest.

Okay, we all know I have this deep-seeded need to get things off my chest. Have you ever actually thought about that phrase? It’s kind of weird when one thinks about it but anyway… I digress.

Do you all know what a PCA is? It’s an acronym for Personal Care Attendant. This is a person that comes into the home and helps with daily living tasks such as, meal prep, laundry, errands, transportation to and from medical appointments, bathing assistance, dressing, cleaning, etc. Both my husband and I have qualified for these services for the past three years. We’ve had good helpers and poor helpers.

Recently, about.. oh time is fuzzy for me… three months? Four months? ago.. we hired a new agency and therefore a new PCA. The first one didn’t work out so well because she couldn’t even cook corned beef hash from a can. I even told her how. Like, four times: open can. Pour contents of can into fry pan. Stir and heat until heated through. Serve. How easy is that?

Apparently, it was not that easy at all. So, we requested a new PCA and in walked Misti. She told us on our first day together “I’ll clean your home just as I would my own. If you don’t like the way I do something, just tell me and I’ll do it differently. There’s no need to call [my boss]” This statement was witnessed by my husband’s case manager, on numerous occasions, phrased differently at various times but all amounting to the same thing. As the weeks went on, we got along great.  She cleaned well and beyond what was on her list. We continually told her that she’s doing too much, that it’s not part of her job description. She continued to do these things anyways. These things include such items as making us a pot of coffee and serving us cups of coffee (she’d also drink some coffee with us). Picking up dog messes that the dogs left behind over night, changing the cat boxes. Picking up the family room that the kids left a mess in. She’s only supposed to clean up after us adults.

As time worn on, we’d give her cigarette money, gas money, food money. We’d let her bring her kids to work with her since it was summertime and school was out and she didn’t have daycare for them. They could play with our kids while she worked, we reasoned. We let her stay with us for two weeks rent free, bill free, not even a penny towards food-free. We asked that her husband do chores around the house in lieu of all of that since they said they didn’t have a dime to their name. The second weekend they stayed with us, she got paid and went out and spent the entire check on a bathing suit for herself, things for kids and camping stuff and the family went camping (one of the times she did not take our kids with them, by the by as she didn’t always do that). They borrowed money and we forgave the debt after they moved out because we knew they were “broke.” We barely had enough money ourselves that month but I hate “loaning” money to friends because it never fails to cause a problem between friends if one cannot pay back the other, you know?

I let her bring her younger brother and sister with her to work, I let her bring her nephews and nieces with her to work. Her father came to our house once. I let her bring her dog to work. We’d sit and play cards and drink coffee while she was on the clock but her work was done. She was supposed to clock out at that point, but I’d let her stay clocked in of course. On her days that she wanted off, to make up for all the extra she did for us, we’d clock her in via the telephone system, even when she wasn’t there, so she’d not miss the money in her paycheck.

A lot of this amounts to a big no-no. We could BOTH seriously get into trouble for this sort of stuff if the boss people ever found out. I was informed of this of later on, when I *did* inform the boss people exactly what had transpired between the both of us (or all of us). Both sides. We gave and we took, as one does during a friendship. It was a two-way street the whole way through until she threw me under the bus.

So, last week… on Monday, she called out sick because she had a doctor’s appointment. She has an illness she was getting tested for. She came to work Tuesday.

Wednesday, she didn’t come to work because, she claimed, while she was at her daughter’s doctor’s appointment, her doctor’s office called her in to have two emergency tests done and she didn’t know why because they didn’t tell her. They only told her that the doctor wanted her to have these tests and that he’d put a rush on the results so that she could return the next day to get the results.

So she didn’t come to work on Thursday. She was told on Thursday that it was “nothing” after all, the doctor was mistaken… she was good to go.

She came to work on Friday.  She told me that this would be her last day because her husband didn’t want her to work anymore. You see, he had gotten a new source of income and they didn’t need her to work outside the home anymore. He had gotten a large chunk of cash via a check through the mail on Tuesday related to this new source of income, by the by.

Oh, will you look at that? That’s miraculously the day before she took two days off! Well, at the end of her day on Friday, she decided she didn’t want to quit after all and she told me she’d tell her boss on Monday that she’d changed her mind.  And she told me that the boss lady had told HER not to tell me she was quitting that day as I might not let her finish out the day if I knew it would be her last (why wouldn’t I??) and she’d just randomly send a new person to my house on Monday (and not even tell me first!!).

Well, Monday came and after Misti was supposed to show up for work, I get a call from her sister-in-law telling me that she couldn’t wake Misti up. It seems Misti had dehydrated herself over the weekend and allegedly ended up in the ER the night before for hours getting fluids pumped into her and she was very tired. *IF* she woke up in time, she’d come to work. If not, she wouldn’t.

Well, I called the boss lady and asked for a fill-in. Misti had only come to work twice last week and on her last day there, she didn’t actually work at all. She sat at my table talking on my phone to her mother, brother, sister, father, uncle, husband, etc. Her family constantly would call her while at work, that’s another thing I never minded. She did finally get a cell phone but the reception was poor in my home. So, here it was after the weekend, and I needed someone desperately to come in and help me cook and clean up, not to mention the laundry she had stopped doing a few weeks back. She had all those kids with her the prior week (about two weeks ago) and they didn’t really clean up after themselves, just took all the toys they had dug out of my son’s toybox and threw them on to his bedroom floor… I spent the day cleaning that up and I’m still working on it because it takes me so long to do that sort of thing.

Well, the bosslady started yelling at me for taking advantage of my PCA and what did I expect when I treated my PCAs so poorly? that they wouldn’t quit? The woman had me in tears by the time we were off the phone. I called Misti’s phone afterward to find out what she told this lady. Misti played dumb and said “why would so and so talk to you that way??” and so on. She got off the phone rather quickly and I had thought it was because she was actually sick. Yeah, right. I don’t believe that now anymore than I believe anything she ever told me.

(Edit: I say “yesterday” in the below paragraph but more time has elapsed since I actually wrote this post but had forgotten to push the “publish” button. This below conversation actually took place on Thursday, August 19th)

Yesterday I learned that Misti DID tell this lady that I FORCED her to make our coffee, wait on us hand and foot like a slave, pick up after our dogs and cats, and our kids. She was FORCED to cook for our kids, babysit our kids and so on! Never once did Misti tell this bosslady the stuff WE did for her! NOR did she tell her that she was not FORCED to do a damn thing and in fact INSISTED on doing much of those things! Yes, we asked her to make pots of coffee for us since I can’t pour the damn water into the thing because of my shoulder and my husband can’t stand up long enough to do it, but she did it because SHE drank most of the pot! My husband and I would get a cup each out of it and she’d drink the rest! Yes, she picked up after the dogs but TWO of the dogs I have came from HER. And she’d bring HER dog to work and despite what she may think, yes her dog does go poo in the house! I’ve caught her dog doing it several times. But I didn’t tell her cause she’d beat the poor thing for it.

There is lots more that I am not saying that I witnessed that I could say. There is a lot more. But none of that matters to me. What hurts is the fact that she said these things behind my back, putting my services in jeopardy and then LIED about doing it. After I learned from *my* case manager that it was in fact Misti who said these things to the boss lady, I had called Misti directly to ask her why. Why didn’t she just say something to us, as she had asked we do for her if there was ever a problem. She denied it. I asked “Why would they say you said it if you didn’t?” and her reply was, “I don’t know but I don’t have time for this. I’m picking out stuff for … blah blah blah.” She was too busy shopping.

I was told she “misses me.” Bull. The money must’ve ran dry. Girl, this is one bridge you done burned.

Obviously, I have learned from this mistake (or many mistakes). I am not going to become friends with the helpers anymore. I am not going to let them do “favors” for me anymore, no matter how much they insist that they want to or don’t mind doing it. It’s only what’s on their list from here on out. I’m not going to do them favors anymore either. No more loaning or giving money or letting them use my vehicle after hours.  I wasn’t out to hurt anyone. And I don’t want anyone to hurt me again, either.

Also, I need to add, that this isn’t the first time this woman has lied to me, either. The first time so so silly, that I brushed it off. You see, she wanted to go to a water park in a town about an hour away and she was telling me all about it over the phone. It sounded like great fun. I think I invited myself to go along on the trip but I am not quite certain how it got mentioned that I, and my kids, might go with her. She was going to call me the next morning (a Saturday) and let me know where/when to meet with her. I didn’t hear from her. I did hear from another family member who told me she didn’t know where Misti was, but the last she had seen Misti, she was with her brother doing an errand for this family member. So, I said, okay. Later the next day, I heard from a different family member on Facebook all about Misti’s trip to the Water park. Misti had told me the later on Saturday night that she had not gone to the water park after all because she couldn’t get her check cashed and so went with her father and brother to a different watering hole and made it a family only day. I said “Oh okay, no problem. Glad you had a good time.” On Sunday, when I learned that she lied to me, I talked it over with my father.

He said that I should let it go because she probably felt obligated, as my helper, to invite me along and didn’t really want me and my kids on the trip. So, I let it go. Days later, she brought up something about giving someone money on Saturday, the day she didn’t get her check cashed. It killed me to keep my mouth shut, and I said “I thought you coudn’t get your check cashed on Saturday?” and she looked at me with her eyes tearing up and her jaw quivering. I felt bad. I told “It’s okay, I already know you lied to me because so and so told me you went the water park on Sunday. Please, just don’t lie to me. You’re not under any obligation to have me go with you anywhere.” and we talked it out.  She promised never to lie to me again.

Now that I know that she has, this is why I no longer believe her about anything. It seems she lies about everything, big and small.

29
Jun
10

True, Necessary and Kind?

Okay, one of the “good” things I thought about recently was a blog post I read today or yesterday (okay, okay, the other day ago). There’s a saying by Buddha that basically says the whole if it’s not nice don’t say anything at all. But, it’s in a convenient checklist form. Is it True? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind? If the answer is no, to any of the above, we should not say it. This blogger took it a step further and suggested we shouldn’t even think it.

Well. I’ve been thinking on the benefits that way of being could be. Of course, it’d take a LOT of practice to reach that goal of always making sure the three things are met before thinking something or saying something. But as I was thinking, I thought: “Um. I’d have nothing left to think.” See, It’s usually true and kind. That’s just how I am 89% of the time anyway (made-up statistic to show how much I don’t know about myself). But seriously, I know a lot of what I say may be true and kind, but is it necessary? No. I’d go so far as to say about 99% of what I say isn’t necessary.

A lot of what I say, I say to break silence. Silence is very awkward for me since I do most of my socializing online. It’s one thing to sit in comfortable silence in a room with someone. Perhaps they’re watching TV and I’m reading. Or we’re both doing our thing on the computer. Whatever. But it’s entirely weird to sit there in silence with someone in an IM or email, isn’t it?

And for the record, I swear I’m not obsessing on this guy. He’s just had some really good shit to say lately. 🙂

29
Jun
10

Time on my hands.

I have a problem.

I know, what’s new?

Seriously, though. I have time on my hands now. School has un-enrolled me. Here’s the problem: University of Phoenix has failed to send them a transcript of my courses taken. I did not finish UOP because they suck. So, why not skip it? I have other degrees to use, why is THIS one transcript so important? I don’t get it! National University seems intent on being difficult! I’m at the point where I’m going to say “Flug this” and just go to the local state college down the road. Of course, I think I’ve talked about how… challenging that would be for me. But I’m at the point where I just might! Challenges be darned!

And I quit my “day” job. I have the other places I write for still and I will continue to write for them. They don’t require daily stuff though and so I have a LOT more time on my hands. A lot. I mean.. seriously. A lot of time on my hands. What do I do with that?

Well, I could think. I have a lot to think of these days. The problem with my thinking is that it all gets twisted. See, I get bored. And since I’m not being challenged, I’ll create drama. Just to have something to think about or to whine about or … I don’t really know. It seems to be that way though. Anytime things are going smoothly and in flow, BAM. The other shoe drops. And after the crisis, I’ll look back. Sure enough. I did it to my own dang self! What’s up with THAT?

Now, I’m not saying ALL of it is strictly my fault but I’d say 98% of it is. And of that 98%, at least 97% came from faulty over-thinking. Yep.

So, the trick is to think about what I really need to think about and leave the other garbage alone. Do NOT think about it. Just..  let it go and flow.

We’ll see how that works out *snorts*

AND. I have noticed lately that my husband is right. I am impatient. About certain things. And if I don’t get his response in MY time frame, I get upset with him and assume he’s not going to respond at all. Which makes him not want to deal with anything or anyone. Which confirms to me that he wasn’t going to respond at all anyway. Except… I don’t see the mid-step of my pressuring him to respond according to MY preferences. Well, I hadn’t. I do now. So while I wait for him to email me, I have to have something to keep my mind occupied!

So.

Think Positive. Act Positive. Be Positive. And positivity does help with happiness. Yep, yep. So.

I’m off to listen to some really inspirational and inspiring, uplifting, positive music. It’s called “Smack That.” I forget who sings it but Eminem is featured on it. :)~




These are the types of things I talk about

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