Proof That I Have Brains

Okay, so it’s not proof that I USE said brains.


Anyway, I had to have an MRI done of my brain because I’ve developed this pesky habit of having seizures. Grand Mal type with whole body shaking. I’ve had about four or five in the past two months. I do not know that they occur when they occur. I do not feel a thing.

According to my husband and oldest son who has witnesses these seizures, I spent anywhere from 30 seconds to four minutes shaking in whole body convulsions followed by a period of fogginess where I’m responding to them but they can tell I’m not “with it.” I do not recall those foggy periods, either.

On or about September 2, 2010, I had one that lasted four minutes. I was playing CafeWorld on Facebook. I play this game at night after my youngest has gone to bed or the kids are in school to escape. When you have a stressful life, an hour a day playing a goofy game can help melt the effects of said stress. Similar to how a bath works. If you have autism and stress, it becomes very important to have these daily breaks from reality.

As I was saying… I was playing Café World and I was also on the phone with the step-mother of my nieces. This step-mother has also known me for over 20 years. She calls me cause she likes talking on the phone and doesn’t like waiting for my email and/or inbox messages to get back to her. I don’t mind too much talking to her on the phone; although, in general I do not like phone calls. They do tend to make me tired.

The last thing I recall was laughing at something she had said, in response to my oldest telling me (because he wanted to stay up and not go to bed) “I made you a pot of coffee, but I’m not getting you a cup!” I did not ask him to either, which is what made it funny. The next thing I know, I’m waking up, sitting up on the floor of my dining room, my son standing next to me and my husband sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me.

They both looked terrified. Apparently, after the shaking had ended, I had sat up to breathe better. They had called 911, as told to by my family physician, to go to the ER to get checked out. Actually, my 12 year old autistic son called 911 so that my husband could make sure I was safe (not bang my head or swallow/bite my tongue) during the seizure.

I cannot begin to describe just how proud of my son I am. If you mention to him how brave he is, he shrugs it off as “not that scary.” I could tell you, he was scared. I saw it in his eyes as I came to. I was told he calmly told the operator on the phone what was going on, answering all her questions the best he could.

When the EMTs got there, I was fully aware again. My husband was a bit gruff with them. You see, the last time the EMTs were called, they said it was just allergies and take some Mucinex and I’ll be okay. I kid you not. Not all the EMTs around here are so… weird… but a few of them insist that they have X-ray eyes and will talk you out of going to the ER.

One of the EMTs that responded this latest incident clearly was aggravated that she had to take me in as evidenced by eye-rolling and teeth sucking. You know what I mean. She whispered to the triage nurse something that I could not hear, try as I might. Yes, I wanted to know what she was saying about me. When she noticed that I was not-so-covertly eavesdropping, she just shrugged and rolled her eyes again. The nurse responded with, “Well, of course Dr. H would want her to come in to get checked out. You cannot do an EEG or MRI at home.”

So, Dr. H did indeed order an MRI which I did today.  I do have a neurology appointment on the 14th, but he figured this would do until then. If I was to have another seizure (which I did the following day) I was to report it to his office but did not need to come in again unless other symptoms showed or we were concerned, such as the fogginess doesn’t clear.

Last night, just before the seizure, all the dang dogs and cats decided to pile on top of me in my bed. I thought only certain animals did that. Those dogs who get trained to do it. Apparently some do it by instinct. I began yelling at the beagle to get off my head and that’s when my husband and oldest son came into the room. I had been reading in bed.

This time the seizure only lasted about a minute and the fogginess cleared rather quickly. I did not notice a time-lapse. I thought one minute the dogs/cats are on my bed, the next they’re not. My husband informed me that he got them all off my bed except for the rat terrier, named Summer, who refused to stay off the bed. She’s my protector. Even the kittens had swarmed me.

The lingering symptoms were the same as before: headache and extreme muscle fatigue. That’s the only way I know I’ve had one. I feel so wiped out. Well, that makes me wonder if I haven’t had seizures before and just didn’t know it because I don’t remember any of it. I do have headaches in my past along with extreme muscle fatigue where it comes upon me all of a sudden. So, we’ll see what the neurologist says.  I see an EEG in my future.

Today I had the MRI. That was fun! Not. Those tables… man, can’t they get one that does NOT kill your back? Even with the knee pillow in place, my lower back is screaming at me now. I’ll be taking some pain meds soon to get rid of this headache I have and the backache.

I did have a moment where I almost panicked after slipping into the machine for the scan. There’s this thing that goes over your head like a cage. It’s disconcerting. You have cushions on the side of your head. You have earplugs which makes it hard to hear the guy talking through the speakers in the machine and cushions keeping your arms in place, as well. Knowing I couldn’t even scratch my nose was beginning to bother me.

I’m proud of myself for not flipping out. I just disassociated with the event. I’ve always done this when I’m faced with something that produces large amounts of anxiety. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. I used to confuse these times with “sleeping.” I just go to a different world and I do not have the words to describe it to you. I have since wondered if it’s to do with autism and not PTSD.

It went really quickly and afterward I was able to get a CD of the images. I plan on taking them with me to the neurologist visit but also decided to share some of the still images with y’all. It’s really neat to see your own brain. Of course, I have no idea if there is anything “wrong” with it, but it’s still interesting to see. I’ll get the results on Tuesday.


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