New habit to form.

I was recently (less than five minutes ago) talking (okay, typing) to someone and mentioned that I have this habit to blog more when I’m down or upset than when I’m feeling okay or happy.

Well, that should change!

So, I will!

This week has had it’s ups and it’s down but I want to tell you more about the ups. First of all, hubby and I are infinitely better. We’ve been discussing things via email (his idea) so we don’t lose our temper and overreact to things said or thought to have been said (oops), and so the kids don’t hear it.

Well, we COULD talk face-to-face after the kids go to bed but that’s our “play” time and neither of us seems to want to give that up (okay, he doesn’t but I don’t mind really). And so, we’ve been emailing each other with each problem listed as a separate email subject thread (gotta love gmail!). We have about five serious issues we needed to work on. We got through a lot but when we finally get to discussing one of MY hugest problems? He stops reading the emails, never mind replying to them! Guess it’s just not that important to him, huh? That was my assumption.

Well, he still hasn’t read them but I do see definite improvement in ALL the areas (even the ones he bailed on). So, maybe he doesn’t need to read them to know what the problem is from my stand-point.

He and Thomas played another war game tonight (Risk). They had a blast. It’s not as long-lasting as the ones my husband typically plays but it’s fun enough for him and easy enough for Thomas. One problem though: Thomas has ADD and while Jerry was taking his turn, Thomas would wander off distracted by the dogs, wanting a drink, seeing what his brother is doing on the computer, playing with the dog, seeing when his next show is on, playing with the dog, etc. ADD? Yes, how’d you guess?!?! So, Thomas is learning how to cope with waiting his turn.

It’s important for him to learn to sit still for five minutes at a time. The turns don’t take THAT long that he can’t be reasonably expected to sit still and he sits still for much longer during school so it’s a reasonable expectation. Plus, he should be paying attention! Not only could my husband have cheated (which he wouldn’t have done but say Thomas is playing with a friend or two who might have) and it gives clues to Thomas what Jerry is planning to do. He might end up with a new strategy for his next turn.

So, all in all, it was a very good time had by both of them, though. It was so sweet to watch them and listen to them TALKING. Not yelling at each other! They were not only discussing the strategies of the game (it’s a new one for Thomas) but also about other things involving Thomas’ life. Jerry told him some stories from his childhood and such. They’re.. relating… to one another! I love seeing that and look forward to more.

Jerry attempted to get one-on-one time with Brandon today. Brandon is more challenging because his interests are not so similar to Jerry’s. Brandon likes to talk about Monster Trucks, Mighty Beans and Godzilla. If you try to change the conversation, he relegates to infomercials. But Jerry asked B to take a ride with him to the grocery store, just the two of them. But, Bboy turned him down, flat. Of course, Bboy has had that sunburn (which formed blisters, popped and he’s now having fun picking and peeling). So, he hasn’t felt like doing much of anything. But at least Jerry showed him interest! That’s something to be happy about.

And Jerry and I watched a movie together earlier this week. “The Bucket List.” Hilarious. Totally! And touching. I really enjoyed the movie and the time spent with hubby. We’ve also played cards, a new game to us called Mancalla, and tonight we also played Risk together. Lots of time spent together each day. There was ONE day this week where we didn’t. Might’ve been two… who knows. Who cares? The point is, we spent a LOT more time together which is what I was looking for!

Every month now, we’ve had less discretionary income to play with. We’re at the point where we have none and not enough to meet our basic expenses this month (bye bye cell phone, internet, cable, etc.). We’re both bad about pissing money away on useless crap. Okay, they have uses but they’re not necessary. And neither one of us says no to the other one when we talk it over before pissing it away. The problem started in May when we had to stay in a hotel for a week and couldn’t afford it. Not to mention the cost of repairs on the AC. Although, I believe, my father covered the expenses of the AC repairs for us. My father has covered our butts too many times since we moved out here for our liking and it’s time we grow up! We make more than he does, how is it he has enough to give us money to tide us over instead of the other way around?

I don’t know but I do know we have to get a handle on it. So, before we played the game of Risk, we sat down and did our budget (like every month) and agreed we had to stop blowing through our money (like we do every month).  This time, however, I’m committed. I wasn’t fully before. This time I *will* tell him no to the new headphones or going out to eat. I will tell myself *no* to just putting ONE new nightgown in my cart at Wal-mart (they are SO comfy!). You get the drift. So do I. We’ve got to change.

Since we’ve moved into our own home, we have less funds every month. For one thing, the electric bill is routinely over $300. That used to be $100/mo when renting in town. Our mortgage payment is relatively low ($575/mo) but it used to be $550. All of our expenses every month went up when we moved. We don’t have the same amount of “pissing away” money that we used to. We’ve lived here for over a year now like we did and that’s created a hole. We gotta fill it! We *will* fill it.

So, life is getting back on track for me. I am going to do another anonymous shout-out here. You know who you are. You were very kind to me during my little break-down here this past couple of weeks and your emails were full of things to think about. Positive things. Changes that I could make and would help myself and my family. Thank you. You’re very valued and appreciated. I hope, one day, I can help you (although it would suck in a way that you’d NEED helping but) or provide value for your life. 🙂


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