So, I’ve been thinking about crying.

You’ll have to click on the link to follow along if you haven’t read my autisable post today. Don’t worry; I’ll wait.

It’s okay, go ahead. Trust me. You won’t be able to follow along.

Okay, you’re back? (For those that are too stubborn to click and want to prove me wrong, raspberries to you; those that already read it: thanks!).

Okay, so I took my shower. I didn’t cry. I couldn’t cry. It was weird. I could have increased the pent up feelings by continuing the negative thinking but that wouldn’t do me much good, would it? All those negative thoughts would leave a footprint in my psyche and that’s not what I want. I want to release what’s already there.

So then, I got to thinking about why I was NOT crying. I think I’m punishing myself. Like, somehow I don’t DESERVE to cry and release the negative feelings. Silly. Bunk.

But that just shows how destructive having these negative feelings linger. I have to get them out. Shall I stub my toe?  Think bad thoughts? Or just wait for nature to take it’s course?

I’m frustrated because here I’ve been on the verge of tears for DAYS. And now, when I’m ready to release, they won’t release!

out damn tears, out!


5 Responses to “So.”

  1. June 22, 2010 at 3:01 am

    I can relate (((((HUGS)))))

    (I left a comment on your Autisable post that you linked to above #hugs )

  2. June 22, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Thanks! I replied there as well. *hugs*

  3. June 23, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Hi, I did as you suggested, reading your autisable post first. I left a message about this wonderful idea you had about crying in the shower. I was happy for you that you had found an answer! Then I came back here and……………. I hope you can make this work or find another creative solution soon. Solving this problem is obviously very important to you. I don’t a lot about you but I have sensed that YOU CAN DO IT!!

    • July 4, 2010 at 6:24 pm

      Thanks! I did eventually work it out. It’s hard to face feelings sometimes and let them go… but in order to move on to new emotions (without suppressing) you have to let them go. To me, it’s very important indeed.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂

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