11
Feb
10

Stop the world and melt with you.

Well, the last couple of posts have focused on…. HIM. So I thought I’d do a little updating on the other areas of my life 😀

Firstly, my writing at examiner.com is still going strong. (and I learned how to insert a link in this here pub tool! how cool is that?)…. I publish there almost every day (mostly M-F). Of course, it’s related to topics on Special Needs Kids. I’m really excited about all the new products I’m reviewing (and the boys like reviewing too!) for upcoming articles. I love doing interviews with the creators of these products, services, and sometimes doctors who author studies. Who knew these people would be so generous with their time…. FOR ME?

And I’ve been making progress on posting here more regularly too! I still need to get my butt over to the homeschool blog though and update that! Thommy and Brandon recently did some serious cooking in the kitchen I need to tell y’all about! I wish I could use the pictures I took of them but our cell phone bill wasn’t paid and so I can’t send pics from it for now. Wish me luck with the lottery winnings!

Another cool, nifty neato thing that happened was that someone gave me access to THEIR wordpress blog to be a contributor! I was real honored by that. I just am afraid I’ll mess up his thing!

AND… and I am also a contributing author to Special Mom Talk website. Y’all should really check that site out! It’s newly launched and could definitely use some support. And yanno, not just moms either! Anyone with an interest in children should visit. And you can read my articles there, too! Currently, they’re just republished works from my Examiner site but I am working on some content just for there 🙂

I’m also working on a piece for Examiner. About “youth development” camps, ranches, academies, etc. Government did a study (published in 2008) that found a lot of abuse and deaths of teends at these places, such as one called Provo Canyon School. I’m looking into on behalf of a mother (whose rights to her child were terminated in part because of her husband and in part because of this facility her daughter is in) who wants her daughter released from a similar facility. I have the majority of the documentation and am working with a colleague on this.  I am so shocked. I can’t even begin to describe the horrors these children are facing. It is truly institutionalized child abuse. Boot camps are good, providing no abuse is going on, for SOME children. But for children with deep, psychological needs, this is NOT the place for them. After all, there *is* a reason our military does not accept “head cases” as they call them. They cannot handle “boot camp” and never mind the rest of duties if in a war.

I spoke with my dad briefly about this case and these fascilities. He’s all for them! He says that these kids today NEED a good “arse kicking” to get them motivated. When I told him of the special needs considerations, however, he was quite adamant that it is not for them, necessarily. He had a kid in boot camp with him that was clearly not cut out and they gave him administrative discharge. He said those types of kids aren’t not equipped to deal with this type of thing and it amounts to “torture.”

I am hoping to get through all the documentation and third-party verifications ASAP. This way, hopefully the heat will turn on this facility, and they will at least release this particular daughter. And, hopefully, investigators will actually investigate this place COMPLETELY…. although this is some corruption with local law enforcement and other agencies that might make that impossible.

At first, I thought this lady was just a mom who had her daughter taken away into foster care. Second thought was “maybe her daughter *should* have been removed. However, I misread what she had written to me on Facebook. So wrong. I’m glad she emailed me and clarified the situation and I hope I am able to help her help her daughter get out of there!

Pray for Alexis.

On another note…. I am writing frequently over my autisable site as well! The recent posts having to do with the HBO move “Temple Grandin.” I can’t say enough positive things about that movie! Claire Danes is a WONDERFUL actress. AWN did an interview with her at BlogTalkRadio after the movie premiere. And she was VERY happy with Claire Danes as well, saying that Claire Danes went ABOVE acting the part and actually became Temple. Which coincided with my experience 🙂

And I have to get to work on my next post for Empowering Parents ezine. I had a backlog of posts to be posted there by the editor but I think she recently just posted my last one! ACK! Time to get going!! I talk about my work with Thomas on there through their program Total Transformation. And I have to say, it’s not BS PR either. I’m real. I’m honest. Always. And it REALLY is a good program for parents to learn how to parent difficult, abusive kids. The parents get retrained too because let’s face it, we’re human. We make mistakes. This program has opened my eyes in so many ways to the traps I fell into with Thomas that helped perpetuate the problem and I firmly believe that parents have to change before the kids will. And the change has to be sincere and long-lasting. Two days isn’t gonna do it because the kid doesn’t buy in yet. He knows he can wear you down in a heartbeat based on past experience. So he’ll ramp up his misbehavior before you see any real progress. That sort of happened with Thomas but because we sat both boys down and talked about it with him, we didn’t get it nearly as bad as we have in the past when we’ve tried another program. It’s really working!

Okay.

Okay, enough about other places I’m writing at!! HA!

I’ve joined http://www.moonfrye.com as a member… I can make a blog there too, but for now I’m lurking 🙂 I mean, I already have SO many places to write for…. including magazine pieces to sell. And my short stories… another BLOG? What about?? LOL So, I’m lurking and loving it over there. I have ALWAYS admired Solei MoonFrye as an actress and for her efforts at greening the world 🙂 She’s also apparently an awesome mommy! I’ve always had this connection to her, inside of me, since the first episode of Punky Brewster. I remember the first time I watched the show. A friend had told me about it. We had ONE color TV and ONE black and white TV. My brother and sister wanted to watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind on the color TV. I wanted to watch Punky Brewster. I won the argument because I said it would be more scary to see their movie in black and white and I *had* to watch Punky Brewster in color, because, helloooo… part of her whole quirky thing is mismatched colored sneakers and hair pigtail holders. Duh! LOL My sister was mad at me for that for YEARS.  But I would watch Punky Brewster and Silver Spoons before bed.

And then on Saturday mornings, I’d watch the cartoon! I remember when I got older, and it was on in reruns after being canceled. (They so could have continued that show for the tweens and teens!! ha!). I’d race home for school because it came on at 3:30 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. every day. My friends would laugh at me about it but I didn’t care. I HAD to watch. I mean, c’mon.. Punky, and Cherrie… and the dog whose name I forget and want to shoot myself for! I even still have the babydoll my Dad bought me because it looked just like Punky’s doll “My.”  So that was my first connection with her. And of course, the movie, Rags to Riches. And more parts from there… like that Sabrina show when she goes away to college. MoonFrye played the roommate. I loved that character too!

Okay, I’m rambling because I was trying to avoid talking about…. HIM. My twush. He asked me today: “Can I ask you a question?”  Well, there’s two issues I have here. One, he just did ask a question so asking for my permission is rather moot. BUT…. the other problem I have is I’m anxious anytime someone asks me that particular question. WHAT could anyone possibly want to know…. ABOUT ME? I mean… I’m just me. Nothing special…. nothing too interseting. Just a married mom of 2 kids. So…. average.

But at the same time…. it’s also rather thrilling to be asked questions. So without a prepatory “may I ask you something?” type of question.. if they just asked the question they want to ask… then that is fun to me. I love being asked questions because it takes the pressure off of me to think of something to say! When you’re online, talking, chatting, exploring…. you can’t quite sit in a “comfortable” silence like you can if you were in the same room with someone. Me reading a book… him watching TV or something like that. Or maybe he’s surfing the web and I’m watching TV. Whatever. You can sit in silence in those cases. Or maybe just sitting on the couch, holding hands, each thinking thoughts. That’s comfortable too. But just sitting at the computer, staring at the chat box… that’s not comfortable. Not for me. So I like to chat and chat and chat and chat. But responses can never come quick enough. And the other person might have some real life moments going on and he’s dealing with that. Or getting up and getting a cup of coffee (I suppose that’s why people started typing “Brb”). Or he’s taking a quick glance at his email and replying. All of that is good stuff. It just delays his response to me and creates an uncomfortable silence.

I have *never* been good with uncomfortable silence. For instance, in college… Gibbs College Boston. I had a professor or two (or 12) ask a question of the class. And many of them would say “Anyone but Heather, what is….” I mean… C’mon! Is it my fault I know all the answer because I actually did the assignment?  Well, yes it is but it is not my fault that they didn’t! And some of them had, but just didn’t like to speak up! I was saving them from having to do that! LOL… Some would but knew I’d answer and so wouldn’t which is the downfall of doing that. So, I tried to shut up and wait for someone else to answer. It was TORTURE!

I had a particular professor try to help me with that, Alan Patchell, a psycholgist. God bless him. He tried. It didn’t work. But at least he tried! Well, I shouldn’t say it didn’t work because it did to a degree. I still feel the compulsion to fill the silence but can wait a bit longer now before doing so. 🙂

and a question to him: Want to stop the world and melt with me? I heard that song tonight. What do you think?

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3 Responses to “Stop the world and melt with you.”


  1. June 3, 2010 at 6:54 am

    if you ever need help, I attended provo canyon school from oct 2002-june 2003, and keep in contact with most recent survivors.

    • July 4, 2010 at 6:25 pm

      Thanks! Sorry it took me so long to see this. I’m not good at seeing my comments on this blog. I have to remember to check them.

      At any rate, if you want to email me about your experience at heatherbabes@gmail.com, I’d be happy to hear the story 🙂


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