Soul mates and the Internet

Someone recently asked me “Do you believe there is a soul mate for everyone?”

Well, yes… yes I do…. In fact, I believe there are MULTIPLE soul mates for everyone.

But first, I would have to define what a soul mate is, to me.

A soul mate can be a romantic partner, a friend, a colleague, a professor, a child, etc.

A soul mate is a person that is in our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. That’s been said of friends. Well, friends are also soul mates. Just because it doesn’t involve sex or romantic feelings, doesn’t mean someone isn’t our “soul mate.”

And sometimes, a soul mate isn’t meant to be in our life forever. Well, technically speaking, that’s true of all times because everyone is born dying. Sometimes it’s not his or her death that precludes the leaving though.  Sometimes it’s just drifting away, sometimes it’s moving away and losing touch, sometimes an event brings you together and you move beyond the event and then find yourself more whole and no longer needing that person to get you through the day. That doesn’t mean that person isn’t a soul mate. It just means the time is up.

Problems and trauma and drama exist when one soul mate is ready to move on and the other does not think it is also time. That where personal ego comes into play. And denial.

But yes, there is a soul mate for everyone. There is even a romantic soul mate for everyone, in my opinion. I have been blessed in that I have found two such people to spend time with.

The second romantic soul mate I met was through the internet. Oh the joys I felt at finally connecting with someone who I thought I truly could love and would love me in return *just as I am faults and all* It was a quick fall. Starting chatting outside the chat room in May of 2007. He showed up at my doorstep on August 19, 2007. Three months. That was all that was needed to be sure THIS was the one.

I still believe he is the one for me, at this time, in my life. I believe still that I am the one for him, at this time, in his life. Nothing about that has changed almost 3 years later. Nothing. I still love him and I know he still loves me. He is still my romantic soul mate.

But that is not to say we don’t have issues. What couple doesn’t?

And then …. And then…. A connection.  Another connection.

Remember the movie, You’ve got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks? I do. I’ll never forget it now. I was watching that movie (twice, in a row) the other night as I was making this other connection.

Kathleen (played by Meg Ryan) said this in a voice over about waiting for mail from NY152 (aka Joe Fox played by Tom Hanks).

“I like to start my notes to you as if we’re already in the middle of a conversation.  I pretend that we’re the oldest and dearest friends — as opposed to what we actually are, people who don’t know each other’s names and met in a Chat Room where we both claimed we’d never been before. What will he say today, I wonder.  I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up… I go on-line, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You’ve got mail.”

Well, in this case, it’s not the AOL guy telling me I’ve got mail but rather two words from my TweetDeck: “Direct Messages” as it receives one. My hope climbs that it is *him.*

And when it isn’t…. well, I try not to be disappointed. I don’t win that struggle.

But when it is…. I want to giggle. I want to dance a little chair dance….

The dance of a twitter crush. Yep, a twush.

It is not the first time I have had a crush on someone. No. It *is* the first time I’ve had a twush though.

Nothing can come of this twush. Is that why I am so fascinated by him? We’re both married, after all and thousands of miles apart.  Is it because I can safely admire him from afar?  There is very little danger of him actually arriving at my door. Or is it more? Is he my *next* soul mate? Does he ask himself these questions, I wonder? Does he feel the twush the same as I do in all its splendor?

Does he search for my writing the way I search for his? Just to read and get a sense of *more* with him? Is it even just a bit creepy that I am like cyber-stalking him in this way? If he knew, would he be flattered or scared?

Again, reality hits and I realize this is ridiculous. NOTHING can come of it. I am in love with my husband and yet… I have this Twush. This great guy, that in another time and place… what would it have been like?

Would he be as great as he seems online as he does offline? What are his quirks? Does he remember to put the seat down? Does he remember to put the lid on the toothpaste and turn out lights? Does he pick fights in a passive aggressive way or does he speak frankly and openly of his concerns? What would it be like if he and I could….

But we can’t.

And then I learn this tidbit: He has a twush on me. And he asks: Do you believe there is a soul mate for everyone?


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