11
Jan
10

Back to the routine of things….

Well, it’s been awhile since I posted here. With my niece’s visit, my routine was thrown out the window and as usual, it was hard getting back on pace with things. That crafty little schedule I created? Um… yeah I forget it’s there and can’t see it when I’m sitting… so I may have to either a) print out one every day and use it as a checklist after all or 2) repost it somewhere where I can see if from where I’m sitting.

No, I cannot just use a checklist on the computer. It is not the same. I love paperwork. I always have and always will! I will not give in and live my life without paper! You can’t make me! HA!

Well, back to what  I really wanted to post about…. my niece’s visit was not as difficult as I had anticipated. Is that not always the way? My mom did come on christmas and brought the dinner with her so I didn’t have to cook anything but a couple of sides! And she warmed up to my niece and before my niece went home, mom came over yet again and really seemed to get along with my niece really well.

Me? How did I get along with her? Well… I love her, I really do… but some things never change. For instance, every night for the last five nights that she was here, she’d come out to the living room where Thomas was watching TV as he was going to bed (he took the couch so she could have the bed) and would turn the TV down so low he couldn’t hear it. He needs noise that he can hear to “ground” him to reality as his psychologist explained it. In his room, he has his stereo.. well, there isn’t one in the living room, just the TV so he used that. Her turning it down allowed the “voices” inside his head to overwhelm him and scare him. So he’d turn it back up. She’d come back out and turn it down again. And back and forth they went. I waited to see if they could work it out themselves. Finally on the fifth night, I’d had enough and intervened. I explained to Rachel that I understood the TV’s so loud she can’t sleep. I said I also know that Thomas needs to be able to hear it to feel safe. So what did she purpose to be done about it? She finally left it at a volume Thomas could hear. < breathe in and breathe out >

Then, my mother had come up for that second visit with cake and ice cream to have while visiting. It also happened to be my sister’s birthday that day (and yes, we celebrated even though she’s thousands of miles away from us) and when the visit was over, they took the ice cream home that was left over. I just took a small bowl for my husband to have as he had not felt well that day and spent most of that time lying down in bed. The next day Rachel wanted to have the ice cream and I told her that I had saved that specifically for Jerry as he didn’t get to have any at all. She did. I did. Thomas did. And Brandon sure did but Jerry had not. I then told her she can ask him if she can have it. She said he was sleeping. So I went and checked and sure enough he was snoring under that CPAP mask. So I came back to the kitchen and told her “Yep, he was sleeping. You’ll have to wait until he wakes up to ask him” and went back into my office. The kids were playing in the family room on the video game thing.

Later that night, she as at Jerry’s computer, eating his ice cream. I didn’t think nothing of it at the time because I thought maybe he had woken up and she had asked. Right? Wrong! She decided she wanted that ice cream and too bad so sad for him. The next day when he asked her about it, she feigned contrition and said she was sorry and had forgotten it was his. Bull. I know she has ADHD and can forget some things. But I recognize her fake “I’m sorry” bit. I’ve seen it enough to know. It was more like “I’ll eat it now and just say sorry later.” GRRRRR < breathe in and breathe out >

She also decided she couldn’t live here in Oklahoma with us. There isn’t enough fashion and “thug life” for her tastes. Okay, I admit it. I made the visit as boring as possible so that she’d come to this conclusion on her own. Sure, I could have taken her to Ft. Smith with all its malls and to Tulsa or to Oklahoma City and saw the sites. Yep. I could have. But honestly? I don’t want her to live here with us anymore. It’s just too much on my nerves and while I am not sure that the cancer is gone, I don’t need to deal with those problems while going through treatment if I need to do more. It’s just that simple.  Call me selfish. I’ll own it.

But we did enjoy Christmas day and Christmas Eve together. I did enjoy seeing her. I had missed some of her traits that are so pleasant. Such as her helpfulness when it comes to Brandon or myself or anyone really except Thomas. Okay, so she talks to Brandon like he’s a toddler or an idiot, but she’s still sweet about it 🙂

But here it is, January 10th and I am just now getting back to routine. My sleep cycle was totally thrown off and I haven’t gotten out of bed before 3 p.m. since the day I dropped her off at the airport. I think I’ll spend this week trying to get to bed early and wake up early. I got to get back into synch because bills aren’t being paid and things aren’t getting done because I can’t wake up early enough to do them!

And that builds anxiety and makes me want my daily checklist and finding ways to justify doing them!

And note to spellchecker: Sometimes, I want a passive voice, dang it!

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2 Responses to “Back to the routine of things….”


  1. February 1, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Hey, I found your blog while searching on Google your post looks very interesting for me. I will add a backlink and bookmark your site. Keep up the good work!


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